Production Company Files Patent For Skeleton Porn


RENO, Apr. 17—Nevada video production company Bonez-on-Bonez Studio came under fire from skeleton entertainment groups on Thursday after filing a patent for “skeleton porn” with the Casino Desert Province Patent and Trademark Office (CDPPTO).

The opposing groups, which include the not-for-profit Funny Bone Society, skeletal porn studio Coccyx, and the Bone Collectors Union, spoke out against the filing, calling it “greedy” and “unsportsmanlike.”

“Bonez-on-Bonez is trying to patent practices that have been around for decades,” Archie Gumsy, managing director of Coccyx, said in a prepared statement. Coccyx has produced more than 78,000 skeletal porn feature films in the past year alone. “They didn’t come up with the way to get skeletons to fuck. This whole industry did. We came up with them and we shared them. For Bonez-on-Bonez to try to patent those trade secrets now is greedy and unethical.”

Mandy Saslone, a spokeswoman for the Bone Collectors Union, accused Bonez-on-Bonez of trying to destroy the industry that birthed it.

“The skeletal entertainment industry is among the most open and generous in the world, and for Bonez-on-Bonez to turn around and file a patent on something we shared with them is just wrong,” Saslone said.

Skeleton porn made up approximately 37% of the Skeletal Entertainment Industry’s revenue last year.

Bonez-on-Bonez’ filing with the the CDPPTO detailed various ways to get skeletons to fornicate while following directions from a screenplay. Included in the patent are voodoo charms and sacrificial practices involving 2009-era iPods.

Bonez-on-Bonez did not immediately respond to requests for comment.