Australia Once Again Continent-Sized Prison For Criminals and Degenerates

JAKARTA, Aug. 18—Australia has completed its transition back to a penal colony, according to multiple sources who washed up on the beaches of neighboring Indonesia on Tuesday after fleeing the desert wasteland.

The sources, believed to be fifteen Australian citizens, crossed the Timor Sea in a claw foot bath tub. They are believed to be the last to escape the country before it recently completed the construction of a 50 foot iron fence round its border.

“There was a meter of wall construction left, so we made a run for it,” said Bruce Smith, 28, who clung to the back of the bathtub as it floated in the ocean for three days. “It’s some Mad Max shit over there. I mean, I’ve never seen Mad Max. The government took away our TVs and stuff ages ago, and I’m not really into movies, I was always more of a sports guy, but yeah it’s really messed up now.”

Amy Lipton, 35, who supplied the bathtub, described the situation in Australia as dire.

“I have seen Mad Max and it is just like Mad Max. I’d say more Road Warrior than Beyond Thunderdome.” she said. “It’s done. The whole place is done.”

The Australian government could not be reached for comment. When the Tymes lodged an official Freedom of Information request with the Federal Government, we received a canister from local officials that contained a fart.

Australia first announced that it would revert to being a penal colony 20 years ago. Parliament approved the decision despite widespread criticism, citing tax reasons.